Friday December 28th, we left North Carolina heading south for Florida. We drove into Georgia down 95 past Savannah. We had hoped that we would have been able to spend some time there sightseeing and learning about the area but, got in to town much later the we had originally thought we would. We had taken the time earlier in the morning to pack up and do a few chores rather than push to get out early. Are uploads are getting much faster already.
We also had taken the time to repair a nagging house battery/solenoid issue that has been going on since we either caused or noticed it back in CT. With the very generous assistance of my brother over the phone and Internet, a couple of hundred times, we finally resolved the issue. At least it seems like it and tests out as if it is resolved.
We made it some 300 miles yesterday and landed in Brunswick, GA. The very big deal of the day was that Megan hopped into the drivers seat in Shallotte, NC as we were about to leave and drove us all the way to Brunswick. Driving this whole loaded, almost 50 foot rig, for the first time ever. She drove on small roads just big enough for us and the oncoming trucks and I95 south. It is in wicked condition in some places with tires ruts and grooves that push a vehicle like this all over the place and usually have the added game day features of no shoulder and Jersey (Georgia) Barriers added in on your right and left, just for excitement. Then she continued to drive it under the same conditions through the Savannah go home, weekend of a holiday traffic, which was as heavy as I have seen it on 95 so far, as night fell. She looked as though she had been doing it for years and was less stressed than me by far and for sure, when I drove for the first time. Plus, she didn't hit anything!
We spent the night in a Passport America affiliate campsite which is a camping club we joined for the express reason of saving money. It costs us only 10 to 15 dollars per night at the campsites. Some are just big sparsely wooded parking lots with all of the amenities that we require for a nights stay. (Electric, Water, Sewer and Cable hook ups all provided on site) You should see how quickly we are able to set up camp on site and be ready for the night now, it is amazing! Others are more elaborate and pretty, which is what we will be looking for when we stay in a place for an extended period. For the overnights we just want inexpensive, clean and easy in and out and for the most part that is what we have found.
Today we are pulling out for the final leg of this weeks journey down to Orlando, Florida. All of the kids are flying down today with their significant others to spend a week with us designed to close out the old year and celebrate in the new one together. We also intend for this to bring some closure and settling to our family that you may guess occurs when the parents leave home. It has brought things up that you may have guessed but that could not be looked at and dealt with until they actually came to the front. We hope to be "Real Americans" and spend New Year's eve in Epcot Center having fun and celebrating our many blessings and abundance, together.
We are enjoying the trip so far and are looking forward to settling in for a while in Florida. We will be visiting with Megan's family there as well as heading down to the Everglades and Keys for some wintertime water sports and experiential, educationally geared activities like air boat rides, swimming with the dolphins and snorkeling around the reefs. We are spending a good bit of time each day increasing Jasper's math, geography, social studies and science knowledge. Yesterday we talked about the cotton crop here in the south. A bunch of aspects about it came to light. ie: slavery, he didn't know it grew on a low bush, a reference to how it is processed and how it is grown. We also spent some time listing all of the states on the East Coast. Do you know how many there are, without listing and counting them? Then we found out how many there are on the West Coast and totaled them up and had Jazz do the math to determine how many states we had to travel through to see them all. We are very much enjoying designing and playing out our educational travel time. It has been great fun! Jasper also spent a good deal of time making up songs yesterday and singing them to us. But, the highlight of his day by far was the moment we pulled into the campsite. A 12 year old with a bike and a skateboard rode up and saw Jasper riding his Rip Stik. A friendship, that lasted for several hours and entailed them sharing all about their lives in a short period of time, ensued. It gave us a wonderful time alone together and Jasper some much desired kid time. He has been a bit homesick and missing his friends and his family time and all things known, back in CT.
There have been adjustments for all of us to date. We miss our friends and and we also miss knowing where everything is at home. We have spent a good deal of these first days trying to put stuff in some logical order where we can find it when we need it but also have it out of our way when we don't. We are making progress. I know where the banjo is but have not had a single moment to take it out as of yet. Settling in a place will allow for that, too.
If any one wants to come and meet us in tropical southern Florida in late January, just call us. Maybe we can swim or take a small boat to Cuba for the day and pick up some cigars!
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
the zen of rv
I wanted to go back to last Tuesday and recapture some of the "Almost Comical Events" that took place on the day of our leaving Connecticut. These will tie in nicely with the "Somewhat Comical Events" that have occurred since we left home, regarding the RV itself. I am learning and practicing a new level of ZEN. Brought directly to me as the new owner of a Recreational Vehicle. For this, I am grateful. Perhaps this is actually a new strain of practice, appropriately named "rvzen", previously unknown to me.
We rose early Tuesday morning, in wild anticipation or was it sleep deprivation, of this being the actual launch day for our road journey. We still had quite a few items to do to be able to check them off the list but seemed confident that we would be able to pull out by noon. Almost everything that was going had been brought to the attic. We really had only our bed to take apart and move up there and then to finalize the clearing of the Master Bedroom, the back office and the kitchen. Of course as we did this we brought the stuff from those rooms into the dining room and living room and sorted them into appropriately sorted piles that would later be moved to there final destinations, attic, RV, curb or given away. And this would be done by noon along with getting the RV itself fit and ready for travel. We'll see! All our good byes had been said and we were bound and determined to hit the road Tuesday even if it meant we would spend the night in New Haven.
Now lets see, the tow dolly (which I have never used or even been able to actually hook up to the RV yet) is embedded in ice and snow way back in the back yard. To get to it we would have to shovel through a mound of ice that had been snow pushed into a pile by the driveway plow guy a couple of days before. We would have to get this leveled before I could drive the pickup in 4 wheel drive back there to hook onto the dolly to pull it out and over to wherever we would end up putting it and the car onto it attached to the back of the RV. Meanwhile, the RV itself is not only embedded in the surrounding ice covered snow on the ground, but the entire top of the unit is also crusted over, like the icing on the top layer of wedding cake after being left in the freezer for a year. It sits somewhat patiently waiting (in Steve and Monica's driveway) for us to get ourselves together, to get in, pay some attention and get going. You know, as I think about it, maybe it was waiting more like a spoiled 4 year old.
Since I brought it home from Michigan and parked it in the driveway of our very loving, caring, generous and compassionate friends, the RV could be seen as having been quietly throwing little temper tantrums. Not interpreted by me that way of course but possibly by some. Myself though, in the spirit of Zen, I have seen them only as passive opportunities to accept what is and be at peace.
First there was the wiring for the lights and electric brakes for the tow dolly. I bought the dolly from a guy in Berlin (No! not Germany, Connecticut. I don't always have to travel far to get what I want) As I was buying it I asked him if we could hook it up to his RV so I could see that the lights and brakes actually worked. He hemmed and hawed and muttered about the wiring being screwed up and that he had to put the wire connector on himself cause it fell off during his trip up from Florida and that he may not have done it just right. "Besides", he told me, "there are no states in the US that require lights on a tow dolly. I mean you should check for yourself in the states that you are going into but my research has concluded that the lights are not necessary anywhere". Although this may seem like an omen to some, to me it is just a bargaining chip and I used it skillfully chopping a hundred dollars of the price he was asking, immediately. So, all negotiations complete, I hooked it to the back of the pick up and drove it home. After all,this is just perfect, I have a wonderful and talented son who works in the field of auto electronics and he would be more that happy to help out his dad by rewiring the tow dolly.
As it turned out, as soon as the RV realized that we had bought the dolly and was paying more attention to it than the RV it quickly reorganized or phased shifted or something and changed its own wiring harness on the back so as not to fit the tow dolly. This was crafty! Suffice it to say that we rewired a new harness hook up onto the RV along with the electric brake controller along with the new harness onto the dolly as well as finding the elusive short in the tow dolly that was preventing the lights from working at all. All of this zen-fully occurred so as to allow number one son, Andrew, and I to spend quality time together. And for me to see, experience and appreciate the man who has become a qualified and skilled technician along with acquiring the skills of patience and tenacity while working with his Dad. He is very adept at the latter skill set. Something that I am just present to and reminding myself of as ultimately important during this particular trip here to my parents house.
I may not have mentioned this is previous blogs but there is one person who has been an outstandingly huge contribution regarding our actualizing the break from the the house on to this trip without whom I would still be in CT. As a result of his steady and constant assistance, he has also witnessed, first hand, all of the afore and soon to be mentioned affectations involved in our break out. That person is the infamous Don Coyle. In the very next entry I will explain the RV tribulations that he and I experienced together, albeit from different angles, on the last day in the winter wonderland.
We rose early Tuesday morning, in wild anticipation or was it sleep deprivation, of this being the actual launch day for our road journey. We still had quite a few items to do to be able to check them off the list but seemed confident that we would be able to pull out by noon. Almost everything that was going had been brought to the attic. We really had only our bed to take apart and move up there and then to finalize the clearing of the Master Bedroom, the back office and the kitchen. Of course as we did this we brought the stuff from those rooms into the dining room and living room and sorted them into appropriately sorted piles that would later be moved to there final destinations, attic, RV, curb or given away. And this would be done by noon along with getting the RV itself fit and ready for travel. We'll see! All our good byes had been said and we were bound and determined to hit the road Tuesday even if it meant we would spend the night in New Haven.
Now lets see, the tow dolly (which I have never used or even been able to actually hook up to the RV yet) is embedded in ice and snow way back in the back yard. To get to it we would have to shovel through a mound of ice that had been snow pushed into a pile by the driveway plow guy a couple of days before. We would have to get this leveled before I could drive the pickup in 4 wheel drive back there to hook onto the dolly to pull it out and over to wherever we would end up putting it and the car onto it attached to the back of the RV. Meanwhile, the RV itself is not only embedded in the surrounding ice covered snow on the ground, but the entire top of the unit is also crusted over, like the icing on the top layer of wedding cake after being left in the freezer for a year. It sits somewhat patiently waiting (in Steve and Monica's driveway) for us to get ourselves together, to get in, pay some attention and get going. You know, as I think about it, maybe it was waiting more like a spoiled 4 year old.
Since I brought it home from Michigan and parked it in the driveway of our very loving, caring, generous and compassionate friends, the RV could be seen as having been quietly throwing little temper tantrums. Not interpreted by me that way of course but possibly by some. Myself though, in the spirit of Zen, I have seen them only as passive opportunities to accept what is and be at peace.
First there was the wiring for the lights and electric brakes for the tow dolly. I bought the dolly from a guy in Berlin (No! not Germany, Connecticut. I don't always have to travel far to get what I want) As I was buying it I asked him if we could hook it up to his RV so I could see that the lights and brakes actually worked. He hemmed and hawed and muttered about the wiring being screwed up and that he had to put the wire connector on himself cause it fell off during his trip up from Florida and that he may not have done it just right. "Besides", he told me, "there are no states in the US that require lights on a tow dolly. I mean you should check for yourself in the states that you are going into but my research has concluded that the lights are not necessary anywhere". Although this may seem like an omen to some, to me it is just a bargaining chip and I used it skillfully chopping a hundred dollars of the price he was asking, immediately. So, all negotiations complete, I hooked it to the back of the pick up and drove it home. After all,this is just perfect, I have a wonderful and talented son who works in the field of auto electronics and he would be more that happy to help out his dad by rewiring the tow dolly.
As it turned out, as soon as the RV realized that we had bought the dolly and was paying more attention to it than the RV it quickly reorganized or phased shifted or something and changed its own wiring harness on the back so as not to fit the tow dolly. This was crafty! Suffice it to say that we rewired a new harness hook up onto the RV along with the electric brake controller along with the new harness onto the dolly as well as finding the elusive short in the tow dolly that was preventing the lights from working at all. All of this zen-fully occurred so as to allow number one son, Andrew, and I to spend quality time together. And for me to see, experience and appreciate the man who has become a qualified and skilled technician along with acquiring the skills of patience and tenacity while working with his Dad. He is very adept at the latter skill set. Something that I am just present to and reminding myself of as ultimately important during this particular trip here to my parents house.
I may not have mentioned this is previous blogs but there is one person who has been an outstandingly huge contribution regarding our actualizing the break from the the house on to this trip without whom I would still be in CT. As a result of his steady and constant assistance, he has also witnessed, first hand, all of the afore and soon to be mentioned affectations involved in our break out. That person is the infamous Don Coyle. In the very next entry I will explain the RV tribulations that he and I experienced together, albeit from different angles, on the last day in the winter wonderland.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
A Wal-Mart Holiday Travelers Meditation
It is about 50 degrees here in Shallotte, NC - expected to get near 70 today and I like it!
We left Annapolis on Thursday night at just about 9 PM. This may sound like a crazy time to start driving to some folks, but our intention was to avoid the DC and Richmond, VA regular traffic in the morning on Friday. Thinking ahead, as we so often do, we also thought that traffic might be even heavier based on the fact that Christmas is on next Tuesday and people may be taking the whole weekend off prior to it and may have even been thinking of heading out on Friday to beat the weekend traffic.
Well, there you have it. The entire thought process on why to leave on Thursday night.
It worked out just fine. We drove until 2:30 AM, early Friday morning and made it all the way to Rocky Mount, NC. This was about 3+ hours from my parent’s house in Shallotte. This would be an easy ride for us in the morning to reach their house, where we will dock and spend Christmas and a few days beyond. Jasper had already fallen asleep on his bed (the fold out couch) along with Megan at some point earlier during the drive. Megan awoke around 12:30-1 AM and came to sit up front with me as I drove. Although she was asleep again within 15 minutes and it was nice to have her as visual company. We were excitedly heading towards our first time ever stay in a new camping site.
We found our (first ever) high class 24 Wal-Mart parking lot for our place of rest for this day. I went in and asked the Customer Service Manager for her permission to park there over night. With that handled, we sequestered a corner of the lot that was the darkest, got ourselves ready and went peacefully to sleep, our so we thought, for the remainder of the night.
As you might imagine, there are a few things that are different sleeping in a parking lot than sleeping in your bedroom in your home. Not immensely different but different all the same. To start with, we were the only ones there with an RV. This makes us stand out just a bit and makes people stare and I assume, wonder where we are from and where we are going and why in the world we would be sleeping in the Wal-Mart parking lot. On this particular night’s stay, just four days before Christmas in NC, at a 24 hour Wal-Mart, people were still shopping at 2:30 AM when we pulled in and by 6 AM when I awoke, abruptly and gazed outside in squinting eyed wonder, the parking lot was beginning to fill up.
Now, as I was saying, abruptly I was awoken, due to the diligent efforts of the landscaping and parking lot crew attending to keeping the lot area clean and ready for all of those cars and associated people that would soon arrive in hoards to continue with the most joyous activity of the season. I am not sure why the lot was so dirty and cluttered under and around our RV but, that must have been the case cause’ the guy with the gas powered back pack, aaaaahhhhhaaaaannnn, aaaaahhhhhaaaaannnn, aaaaahhhhhaaaaannnn, leaf blower spent so much additional time around us that Megan and I both sat up in a bolt, wondering if we were being invaded by a gang of industrious dirt bikers or if a small Robinson helicopter had mistaken the top of our unit for a landing pad. Perhaps he was just as curious as everyone else, wondering what the hell we were doing there and determined that he had a sort of legal reason or employer based charge that allowed him, in his mind, to get as close as he wanted to the RV. Or maybe he had been employer directed to spend some additional time there to hopefully wake us so that we would leave the lot and clear the 7 spaces we had occupied as I pulled in perpendicular to the painted lines. Or maybe he was just a simple, single minded person with no F’in respect for the weary traveling Wal-Mart Camper.
Ultimately, it made no difference to me. He soon left and I was again, fast asleep. Horridly dreaming that our car had been stolen from the back of our RV, as we slept. I will tell you that not too many times before this night have I had that dream, as I lay sleeping in my comfy, warm bed in my home without wheels. But, I must sadly admit, not even that dream was powerful enough to have me rise again as I slept alongside my affable traveling partner until 9 AM. When, I was however, awoken again by the sound of very real car doors shutting, very close to our sleeping, traveling, eating, house pod. Checking quickly through the previous files of my nights scattered dreams and random thoughts, I wonder for a moment, before sitting up, if someone was in fact in our car. I decided to get up and look.
What I saw when I looked out was very surprising to me in two ways. We keep forgetting that it is the Christmas shopping season. As we make our Merry way down the highways of this great country, Christmas shopping has been the furthest thing from our lives and minds. So it has taken us by surprise, several times, as we went into the stores for provisions, that there were so many people shopping. Then in a short bit, we remember what is going on (who’s simple and single minded now). Having made this realization several times now, DUH, the very, very full parking lot this Friday morning was only the small shock. The larger one emanated from the sound of the vehicle doors I heard shutting while I was in the final moments of my rest.
(When I chose our parking location for the night, I had intentionally left two spaces between me and the curb at the end of this row. This was so I would later be able to easily maneuver out of the space into a parking lot travel lane and exit the place with ease.)
By the time I looked out, someone had already taken the one space, furthest from the front of the unit, along side the curb, respectfully leaving the one immediately in front of us open. Now I watched, in amazement and some rising spark of disbelief, the final exiting of a family from Dads White Chevy Extended Cab Pickup Truck. (and I swear that they had smug looks on their faces for having found their own special parking spot on the lot) They or he had decided that parking their vehicle in the spot directly in front of the RV (within a foot of the front) was a real good idea and possibly even thought that the remaining open space must be a special gift from the Yuletide Parking Goddess. In fact it probably seemed like quite a find as no one else had taken it yet. And look, they may have said, no big issue, someone has already parked in the spot directly behind them, too. I know now I should have gotten a picture of this but it just didn’t occur to me in the moment. I hate when I get distracted like that and miss capturing that special moment in digital image.
So I went back in to the unit after surveying the predicament we were in. I pondered the options and possible solutions. We were certainly not in a hurry. We have no schedule to keep. No one even knows where in the hell we are in the world. And, I hadn’t even made my first Café Latte yet. Besides of the two groups that parked close enough on either end of us to sandwich us in, one of them would come out soon.
They wouldn’t be in there all day. Right!
Breathe In, Breathe Out!
We left Annapolis on Thursday night at just about 9 PM. This may sound like a crazy time to start driving to some folks, but our intention was to avoid the DC and Richmond, VA regular traffic in the morning on Friday. Thinking ahead, as we so often do, we also thought that traffic might be even heavier based on the fact that Christmas is on next Tuesday and people may be taking the whole weekend off prior to it and may have even been thinking of heading out on Friday to beat the weekend traffic.
Well, there you have it. The entire thought process on why to leave on Thursday night.
It worked out just fine. We drove until 2:30 AM, early Friday morning and made it all the way to Rocky Mount, NC. This was about 3+ hours from my parent’s house in Shallotte. This would be an easy ride for us in the morning to reach their house, where we will dock and spend Christmas and a few days beyond. Jasper had already fallen asleep on his bed (the fold out couch) along with Megan at some point earlier during the drive. Megan awoke around 12:30-1 AM and came to sit up front with me as I drove. Although she was asleep again within 15 minutes and it was nice to have her as visual company. We were excitedly heading towards our first time ever stay in a new camping site.
We found our (first ever) high class 24 Wal-Mart parking lot for our place of rest for this day. I went in and asked the Customer Service Manager for her permission to park there over night. With that handled, we sequestered a corner of the lot that was the darkest, got ourselves ready and went peacefully to sleep, our so we thought, for the remainder of the night.
As you might imagine, there are a few things that are different sleeping in a parking lot than sleeping in your bedroom in your home. Not immensely different but different all the same. To start with, we were the only ones there with an RV. This makes us stand out just a bit and makes people stare and I assume, wonder where we are from and where we are going and why in the world we would be sleeping in the Wal-Mart parking lot. On this particular night’s stay, just four days before Christmas in NC, at a 24 hour Wal-Mart, people were still shopping at 2:30 AM when we pulled in and by 6 AM when I awoke, abruptly and gazed outside in squinting eyed wonder, the parking lot was beginning to fill up.
Now, as I was saying, abruptly I was awoken, due to the diligent efforts of the landscaping and parking lot crew attending to keeping the lot area clean and ready for all of those cars and associated people that would soon arrive in hoards to continue with the most joyous activity of the season. I am not sure why the lot was so dirty and cluttered under and around our RV but, that must have been the case cause’ the guy with the gas powered back pack, aaaaahhhhhaaaaannnn, aaaaahhhhhaaaaannnn, aaaaahhhhhaaaaannnn, leaf blower spent so much additional time around us that Megan and I both sat up in a bolt, wondering if we were being invaded by a gang of industrious dirt bikers or if a small Robinson helicopter had mistaken the top of our unit for a landing pad. Perhaps he was just as curious as everyone else, wondering what the hell we were doing there and determined that he had a sort of legal reason or employer based charge that allowed him, in his mind, to get as close as he wanted to the RV. Or maybe he had been employer directed to spend some additional time there to hopefully wake us so that we would leave the lot and clear the 7 spaces we had occupied as I pulled in perpendicular to the painted lines. Or maybe he was just a simple, single minded person with no F’in respect for the weary traveling Wal-Mart Camper.
Ultimately, it made no difference to me. He soon left and I was again, fast asleep. Horridly dreaming that our car had been stolen from the back of our RV, as we slept. I will tell you that not too many times before this night have I had that dream, as I lay sleeping in my comfy, warm bed in my home without wheels. But, I must sadly admit, not even that dream was powerful enough to have me rise again as I slept alongside my affable traveling partner until 9 AM. When, I was however, awoken again by the sound of very real car doors shutting, very close to our sleeping, traveling, eating, house pod. Checking quickly through the previous files of my nights scattered dreams and random thoughts, I wonder for a moment, before sitting up, if someone was in fact in our car. I decided to get up and look.
What I saw when I looked out was very surprising to me in two ways. We keep forgetting that it is the Christmas shopping season. As we make our Merry way down the highways of this great country, Christmas shopping has been the furthest thing from our lives and minds. So it has taken us by surprise, several times, as we went into the stores for provisions, that there were so many people shopping. Then in a short bit, we remember what is going on (who’s simple and single minded now). Having made this realization several times now, DUH, the very, very full parking lot this Friday morning was only the small shock. The larger one emanated from the sound of the vehicle doors I heard shutting while I was in the final moments of my rest.
(When I chose our parking location for the night, I had intentionally left two spaces between me and the curb at the end of this row. This was so I would later be able to easily maneuver out of the space into a parking lot travel lane and exit the place with ease.)
By the time I looked out, someone had already taken the one space, furthest from the front of the unit, along side the curb, respectfully leaving the one immediately in front of us open. Now I watched, in amazement and some rising spark of disbelief, the final exiting of a family from Dads White Chevy Extended Cab Pickup Truck. (and I swear that they had smug looks on their faces for having found their own special parking spot on the lot) They or he had decided that parking their vehicle in the spot directly in front of the RV (within a foot of the front) was a real good idea and possibly even thought that the remaining open space must be a special gift from the Yuletide Parking Goddess. In fact it probably seemed like quite a find as no one else had taken it yet. And look, they may have said, no big issue, someone has already parked in the spot directly behind them, too. I know now I should have gotten a picture of this but it just didn’t occur to me in the moment. I hate when I get distracted like that and miss capturing that special moment in digital image.
So I went back in to the unit after surveying the predicament we were in. I pondered the options and possible solutions. We were certainly not in a hurry. We have no schedule to keep. No one even knows where in the hell we are in the world. And, I hadn’t even made my first Café Latte yet. Besides of the two groups that parked close enough on either end of us to sandwich us in, one of them would come out soon.
They wouldn’t be in there all day. Right!
Breathe In, Breathe Out!
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
We have Left! OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH Yeah!!!!
At 9:10 PM Tuesday night, December 18th we loaded the last of the prized possessions into their appropriate places and drove West on Route 66 heading for the open highway (relatively speaking from here in the east)
Our day, though, was not without an almost unbelievable and somehow comical string of happenings. This is the way your final day at home should be. (and it is still continuing at 2:26 AM as I write, behind the wheel, while I am traveling about 1 mile per hour sitting on the Cross Bronx Express Way (NY) because I wanted to avoid a traffic issue in the morning.
Hah! Here I sit.
I drove until 4:30 AM just because I felt great and enthused. Megan had woken up at around 3:30 and came up front to keep me company and search the internet for places and directions. Yes, thats right, the interent while we are driving. I just got the Verizon Air Card just before we left and I must admit it works better and easier than I ever imagined. It is so cool to have internet access while you are moving down the road. Very glad we did this added dollar expense item to our budget.
We spent our first morning of this leg of our journey in the coach catching a nap in Southern NJ in a rest area. I woke at 8:30 and had some of my awesome granola/yogurt/pecans/bannana/brown sugar staple morning food blend and then shoved off , onwardly south, towards Annapolis.
We jumped off the Jersey Turnpike and 295 right after crossing the Delaware Memorial Bridge on to Route 1 towards the Delaware shore and picked up the very scenic 301 towards the Bay Bridge.
The shock of gas cost is just about over and maybe a little nicer as the prices get lower as we get further south. But the toll for this coach towing the car was a ..... WOW!
A bit more of the comical antics of our yesterday, later.
Our day, though, was not without an almost unbelievable and somehow comical string of happenings. This is the way your final day at home should be. (and it is still continuing at 2:26 AM as I write, behind the wheel, while I am traveling about 1 mile per hour sitting on the Cross Bronx Express Way (NY) because I wanted to avoid a traffic issue in the morning.
Hah! Here I sit.
I drove until 4:30 AM just because I felt great and enthused. Megan had woken up at around 3:30 and came up front to keep me company and search the internet for places and directions. Yes, thats right, the interent while we are driving. I just got the Verizon Air Card just before we left and I must admit it works better and easier than I ever imagined. It is so cool to have internet access while you are moving down the road. Very glad we did this added dollar expense item to our budget.
We spent our first morning of this leg of our journey in the coach catching a nap in Southern NJ in a rest area. I woke at 8:30 and had some of my awesome granola/yogurt/pecans/bannana/brown sugar staple morning food blend and then shoved off , onwardly south, towards Annapolis.
We jumped off the Jersey Turnpike and 295 right after crossing the Delaware Memorial Bridge on to Route 1 towards the Delaware shore and picked up the very scenic 301 towards the Bay Bridge.
The shock of gas cost is just about over and maybe a little nicer as the prices get lower as we get further south. But the toll for this coach towing the car was a ..... WOW!
A bit more of the comical antics of our yesterday, later.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
**We're Almost There, no really!**
The last snow storm, on Thursday, could have easily been the blame for the delay in our departure but in reality it was the lack of completion on the seemingly unending list of todo's that we created in large format. The key words being "we created." It seems that from some place in my past and now lodged in my belief system "you come to a point when you just say enough is enough and you are then ready to leave. We have not gotten there and evidently we are not going to. We have just stuck it out and managed the list(s) into submission or depletion. In this case though we have dealt with the mental aggravation (Bill's) of multiple postponements and just kept forging forward to complete on all of those things we deemed important.
Last week we did go through the list and highlight what we felt was crucially important to us by highlighting them in Red and decided if we got these done then we would be perfectly fine with leaving and letting go of the other otherwise trivial things on the list. Funny thing that happened is that when you put them in the list they also get somehow retained in your brain as just as important as the rest. Substantiating my new found theory that the brain does not recognize either the color red or my feeble attempt at prioritizing.
Thus we have completed approximately 80 - 90% of everything that was on the list in spite of our reduction effort and my squabbling about its inherent length and number of items contained therein.
We will be leaving Tuesday morning about 9 AM. Like no kidding!
NASA has declared that the weather will be in perfect condition for our launch and will continue to our first touch down spot of Annapolis, MD later that evening. We will remain there a couple of days then head out to North Carolina to Bill's parents for the Christmas Holiday.
A little trip aside:
On our anniversary date, Megan and I meandered up to The Vanilla Bean in Pomfret, enjoyed a great supper (snuck in a couple of deserts) and listened to the wonderfully calming, beautifully presented, stress releasing musical stirrings of the Atwater-Donnelly Trio. http://www.atwater-donnelly.com/atwater-donnellytrio.htm
They played a bunch of seasonal tunes and mainly served up their blend of Traditional American folk tunes from various regions of our country including some old time Kentucky Hills Blue Grass and Blues. Of the many instruments they articulately expressed themselves with that night, it was the banjo, once again that caught my interest. After we left that evening, I told Megan that I was going to find one to learn on during our trip. I hadn't really mentioned it to anyone else until this past Thursday when I asked my my good friend and Buddhist conversational partner, Scott, ( Thanks so much for your assistance in diminishing the list items, too) if he knew where I could get one that I could learn on and not spend too much on. He told me that he has one that he hasn't had the time to play much lately and that I could take it with me on the year sojourn. Banjo, here I come!
We have packed a good deal of the stuff into the Coach already but the final issue will be assembled and installed Sunday and Monday. It has all been sorted and awaits entry to its meticulously assigned space, somewhere in the top side or in the basement. The very final selection of stuff to take is my tool collection. We intend to do some assistance work with our families, friends and others (in the way of house repair) when necessary or when I need to feel of value for my talents. Of the many to choose from, I will take the tools that seem valuable and of multi leveled importance (like the battery screw gun/drill and the saws all). Come to think of it that should just about do it.
We will pull out Tuesday around 9 AM. Did I mention that already???
OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Last week we did go through the list and highlight what we felt was crucially important to us by highlighting them in Red and decided if we got these done then we would be perfectly fine with leaving and letting go of the other otherwise trivial things on the list. Funny thing that happened is that when you put them in the list they also get somehow retained in your brain as just as important as the rest. Substantiating my new found theory that the brain does not recognize either the color red or my feeble attempt at prioritizing.
Thus we have completed approximately 80 - 90% of everything that was on the list in spite of our reduction effort and my squabbling about its inherent length and number of items contained therein.
We will be leaving Tuesday morning about 9 AM. Like no kidding!
NASA has declared that the weather will be in perfect condition for our launch and will continue to our first touch down spot of Annapolis, MD later that evening. We will remain there a couple of days then head out to North Carolina to Bill's parents for the Christmas Holiday.
A little trip aside:
On our anniversary date, Megan and I meandered up to The Vanilla Bean in Pomfret, enjoyed a great supper (snuck in a couple of deserts) and listened to the wonderfully calming, beautifully presented, stress releasing musical stirrings of the Atwater-Donnelly Trio. http://www.atwater-donnelly.com/atwater-donnellytrio.htm
They played a bunch of seasonal tunes and mainly served up their blend of Traditional American folk tunes from various regions of our country including some old time Kentucky Hills Blue Grass and Blues. Of the many instruments they articulately expressed themselves with that night, it was the banjo, once again that caught my interest. After we left that evening, I told Megan that I was going to find one to learn on during our trip. I hadn't really mentioned it to anyone else until this past Thursday when I asked my my good friend and Buddhist conversational partner, Scott, ( Thanks so much for your assistance in diminishing the list items, too) if he knew where I could get one that I could learn on and not spend too much on. He told me that he has one that he hasn't had the time to play much lately and that I could take it with me on the year sojourn. Banjo, here I come!
We have packed a good deal of the stuff into the Coach already but the final issue will be assembled and installed Sunday and Monday. It has all been sorted and awaits entry to its meticulously assigned space, somewhere in the top side or in the basement. The very final selection of stuff to take is my tool collection. We intend to do some assistance work with our families, friends and others (in the way of house repair) when necessary or when I need to feel of value for my talents. Of the many to choose from, I will take the tools that seem valuable and of multi leveled importance (like the battery screw gun/drill and the saws all). Come to think of it that should just about do it.
We will pull out Tuesday around 9 AM. Did I mention that already???
OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Friday, December 14, 2007
Saturday in New Haven
To those of you checking the blog for our advancement and journal entries regarding the progress of the trip, thanks for looking in on us and please know that we are progressing but that we have not progressed out of CT yet. We have been spending more time doing what we still think is required for us to set it up and leave responsibly and properly to avoid kickback from leaving our affairs out of order (a theme previously discussed in an earlier entry). We have every intention to be complete and to shove off on Saturday the 15th but the impending snow storm, scheduled for this weekend, (a nor'easter - as one friend described as a hurricane with snow included), may hold us ashore until Monday or Tuesday. We are close and in a good place and the excitement is mounting. Jasper is very glad for yesterdays snow storm and as a matter of fact we are, as I complete this note, heading up the street to do some sledding on Foss Hill for hopefully the last time this year. We'll see!
I have to write yet one more, albeit a different angle, story about our leaving or better said not leaving. It is clear to me at this juncture that we were not supposed to leave when we said we were going to. There seems to be another plan for our time over and above what we thought was appropriate. This is in addition to the awareness I expressed in the last blog entry; The Final Final List.
On Friday night, actually Saturday morning, December 1 at 1:10m AM after having crawled into bed at midnight, my cell phone rang. Megan heard it first (or and least was willing to move first) and got back out of bed to look at the caller ID. She let me know that it was our friend Charles calling from his newly remodeled condo in New Haven. Moving up from NYC, he began living there, with his partner Socheata, after we completed the renovations this past August and simultaneously began attending Yale Divinity School amongst the many other major endeavors he is involved in with his significant other. Check out their award winning documentary “New Year Baby” (newyearbaby.net) While I was slowly reentering from dream land and simultaneously trying to process why he would be calling me at this hour, we missed the call and it went into voicemail. After a minute of clearing my head I got the phone from Meg and listened to the message.
“Bill, this is Charles. We have an issue here. We are alright but we have had a break in and robbery down stairs while we were upstairs in bed. It occurred at around 12:30 AM. The rear door is broken from being kicked in and I am wondering if you can get someone here tomorrow to fix or replace the door? Hope to talk to you soon, good bye.”
I immediately called him back and asked for more details regarding the situation. (If they were safe at the moment and he had called the police). The entry occurred at the rear door of the unit. The door was a wooden door with a glass section at the top half, an entry lock and handle in the normal location and a small sliding bolt at the very top of the door. It took the intruder one full body weight push to rip the door jamb apart at the sliding bolt location and push right through the entry lock and he was in. Remarkably, the glass did not break when he blasted through the door. The bastard then went from the rear of the house, where he broke in, to the front of the house and turned on the lights so he could see better around the room and to figure out what he was going to take. He ended up with a lap top and Charles’ wallet.
Next, I asked him what he had done to secure the door and how secure he thought it was. I was trying to determine if they could possibly make it through the night security wise of course knowing that they would not feel entirely safe for quite some time to come. He told me that they had closed the door locked the entry lock again and put a chair up against it. He had also called the property manager for the complex and asked him what he could do about this door issue. The property manager, who seemed to be a little disturbed that he was being called at that hour, offered no assistance and or direction in solving the immediate issue. While the police were there, they told them that it is possible that the intruder may come back now that the door has been busted and he had seen what was in the unit. This straight forward assessment of the truth about these situations must have been very comforting to them. He told me that he thought they would be alright for the rest of the night and we hung up. I could hear in his voice that he did not feel secure and that the situation was not at all comfortable for them.
I lay in the bed for less than 1 minute after the call then said to Meg, “I need to go down there to secure that door and console them if I can.” His parents live in California and hers live in Texas so they have only had the limited amount of community that has been developed through the school, us and one other mutual friend that they could call on for support. Obviously, due to my business and trade and our friendship, I got the call first. I got dressed and starting making a mental list of what I knew I would need to make the door secure for the night. I would work on replacing or having the door replaced in the morning but for now I had to make it secure.
I asked Megan, who knows them as well as I do, from our Landmark Education Wisdom Course, if she wanted to come for support or stay here, as Jasper had not really even fallen asleep yet. He was privy to the phone call and our limited conversations about it and was in the background asking, “Can I come?” So, we loaded him into the back of the new Prius (otherwise known as our new vehicle) along with a 3’ x 5’ piece of plywood two screw guns and some 2 ½” screws and headed down to New Haven.
We called on the way to give them an approximate arrival time and arrived pretty much on schedule. When we got there and knocked on the door Charles asked through the door, “Bill, Is that you?” I went in talked for a few to see how they were, which was naturally really shaken and wired from the incident. Then I quickly made an assessment of the door situation and went to work to secure it for the rest of the late night. I attached the ½ of plywood I had brought with the 2 ½” screws and fastened them through the frame of the door and into the studs beyond the framing to make it as difficult as possible for someone to get through it again. Just in case!
After finishing and explaining to them what I had done, we chatted in the living room for a bit longer and as I was getting ready to leave I told them that we would get a new door taken care of in the morning and we headed back to our luxurious king size bed arriving at about 3:30 AM.
At 4 AM, I received another phone call from Charles. There was a different sense in his voice this time. He was calling to let me know that the arrogant bastard had come back and attempted to break back into the place again by trying to force his way through the plywood that I had just finished installing. In different ways, I’m sure; we were both very satisfied to know that the intruder was unable to gain entry this time as he stood down there repeatedly banging against the old door and its new plywood sheathing.
I went to sleep. I am sure they did not!
The door was replaced the next day with a new solid core solid skin unit and a commercial quality lock system.
I have to write yet one more, albeit a different angle, story about our leaving or better said not leaving. It is clear to me at this juncture that we were not supposed to leave when we said we were going to. There seems to be another plan for our time over and above what we thought was appropriate. This is in addition to the awareness I expressed in the last blog entry; The Final Final List.
On Friday night, actually Saturday morning, December 1 at 1:10m AM after having crawled into bed at midnight, my cell phone rang. Megan heard it first (or and least was willing to move first) and got back out of bed to look at the caller ID. She let me know that it was our friend Charles calling from his newly remodeled condo in New Haven. Moving up from NYC, he began living there, with his partner Socheata, after we completed the renovations this past August and simultaneously began attending Yale Divinity School amongst the many other major endeavors he is involved in with his significant other. Check out their award winning documentary “New Year Baby” (newyearbaby.net) While I was slowly reentering from dream land and simultaneously trying to process why he would be calling me at this hour, we missed the call and it went into voicemail. After a minute of clearing my head I got the phone from Meg and listened to the message.
“Bill, this is Charles. We have an issue here. We are alright but we have had a break in and robbery down stairs while we were upstairs in bed. It occurred at around 12:30 AM. The rear door is broken from being kicked in and I am wondering if you can get someone here tomorrow to fix or replace the door? Hope to talk to you soon, good bye.”
I immediately called him back and asked for more details regarding the situation. (If they were safe at the moment and he had called the police). The entry occurred at the rear door of the unit. The door was a wooden door with a glass section at the top half, an entry lock and handle in the normal location and a small sliding bolt at the very top of the door. It took the intruder one full body weight push to rip the door jamb apart at the sliding bolt location and push right through the entry lock and he was in. Remarkably, the glass did not break when he blasted through the door. The bastard then went from the rear of the house, where he broke in, to the front of the house and turned on the lights so he could see better around the room and to figure out what he was going to take. He ended up with a lap top and Charles’ wallet.
Next, I asked him what he had done to secure the door and how secure he thought it was. I was trying to determine if they could possibly make it through the night security wise of course knowing that they would not feel entirely safe for quite some time to come. He told me that they had closed the door locked the entry lock again and put a chair up against it. He had also called the property manager for the complex and asked him what he could do about this door issue. The property manager, who seemed to be a little disturbed that he was being called at that hour, offered no assistance and or direction in solving the immediate issue. While the police were there, they told them that it is possible that the intruder may come back now that the door has been busted and he had seen what was in the unit. This straight forward assessment of the truth about these situations must have been very comforting to them. He told me that he thought they would be alright for the rest of the night and we hung up. I could hear in his voice that he did not feel secure and that the situation was not at all comfortable for them.
I lay in the bed for less than 1 minute after the call then said to Meg, “I need to go down there to secure that door and console them if I can.” His parents live in California and hers live in Texas so they have only had the limited amount of community that has been developed through the school, us and one other mutual friend that they could call on for support. Obviously, due to my business and trade and our friendship, I got the call first. I got dressed and starting making a mental list of what I knew I would need to make the door secure for the night. I would work on replacing or having the door replaced in the morning but for now I had to make it secure.
I asked Megan, who knows them as well as I do, from our Landmark Education Wisdom Course, if she wanted to come for support or stay here, as Jasper had not really even fallen asleep yet. He was privy to the phone call and our limited conversations about it and was in the background asking, “Can I come?” So, we loaded him into the back of the new Prius (otherwise known as our new vehicle) along with a 3’ x 5’ piece of plywood two screw guns and some 2 ½” screws and headed down to New Haven.
We called on the way to give them an approximate arrival time and arrived pretty much on schedule. When we got there and knocked on the door Charles asked through the door, “Bill, Is that you?” I went in talked for a few to see how they were, which was naturally really shaken and wired from the incident. Then I quickly made an assessment of the door situation and went to work to secure it for the rest of the late night. I attached the ½ of plywood I had brought with the 2 ½” screws and fastened them through the frame of the door and into the studs beyond the framing to make it as difficult as possible for someone to get through it again. Just in case!
After finishing and explaining to them what I had done, we chatted in the living room for a bit longer and as I was getting ready to leave I told them that we would get a new door taken care of in the morning and we headed back to our luxurious king size bed arriving at about 3:30 AM.
At 4 AM, I received another phone call from Charles. There was a different sense in his voice this time. He was calling to let me know that the arrogant bastard had come back and attempted to break back into the place again by trying to force his way through the plywood that I had just finished installing. In different ways, I’m sure; we were both very satisfied to know that the intruder was unable to gain entry this time as he stood down there repeatedly banging against the old door and its new plywood sheathing.
I went to sleep. I am sure they did not!
The door was replaced the next day with a new solid core solid skin unit and a commercial quality lock system.
Monday, December 3, 2007
The Final, Final List
An advance warning! I know I have a lot to say in this blog and this will be a long one. So, if you think you’re interested in reading it, please get a refill on your coffee or tea, read on and accept my thanks and gratitude for being in our lives.
We are on the final, final list before we lift off! We actually were able to take down our many individual sheets of 22” x 34” paper that have been hanging around the house for the past two months that listed every conceivable item we could think of in all of the various and multiple categories. We have, just last night, before we went to see Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, consolidated all of the current remaining items on to one sheet, yes friends, one page of an excel spreadsheet. This may be a welcome sight for those of you who visit us often and thought we had turned into complete organizational freaks. The previous, large scale lists seemed at the outset and proved to be important to our organization and planning giving us a central place we could go to and write down what came into our heads as crucial to complete whenever we thought of or remembered another item. They were also a pain in the ass, ugly to see and constant reminders of what we said we would do or had to do before we could leave. At times (often for me) the lists added to the sense that we may never get complete or get out of here and on this trip. I guess I wasn’t able or willing to see it as part and parcel of the trip!
The list’s, which were not pretty, not part of our decorating scheme for the wonderful old 1850 Greek Revival/Italianate house we live in and certainly not what Megan wanted hanging all over our cabinets, doors, walls, etc., were, however, vital to keeping it all together and essential to moving us to the place we are right now, almost there! They were, and maybe more importantly for our future, as has been this entire process, very revealing. A reminder to live life intentionally and not by default where and when ever we notice that we are.
Let’s face it. When you decide to leave your current lifestyle and activity for a year, there could be quite a few things that you need to get in order before you go, a fallout of sorts. I suppose you could and that some have, JUST WALKED AWAY. This was not the chosen option for us. It would have felt like we were running away. And how could two first born, ultra responsible people ever do something as cavalier as that. The romantic vision that I had of this trip, the one we had created and dream up many years ago was quickly usurped by the pressing need to get it together here before you go there. There are also, at least for us there were, many more things/pieces that reared up as only partially complete on each and every list that we believed needed to be complete- complete before we left. It’s a sickness that Meg and I have succumbed to.
Keep in mind; we follow the philosophy that, completion is only a declaration. Promises made are something completely different and that we can choose to keep our word about them or modify them as soon as we know we can’t keep them. There will always be consequences as a result but, in order to live with others peaceably and enjoy the possibility of having love and keeping friends and family around, straight communication and cleaning up messes seems essential.
We made a choice to not leave people hanging and to get life items in order so that they worked while we were gone so as to not have to micro manage our Connecticut life each and every day from the road. We had to line things up and deal with the details that often, evidently, we were just dealing with on an as required basis during our regular at home life. The life we created, at times, looked like the both of us standing in the batters cage with a pitching machine whipping 90 mph fastballs and the intermittent curveball at us ongoingly and we were just swinging away. Sometimes we would fall backwards, sometimes we would hit homeruns but most of the time we just kept swinging and taking what was coming our way. It is a life and not a bad one but it is certainly a busy, often frenetic, one to manage.
As we started making the BIG lists and in the process of cleaning things up and getting complete it became very obvious to me that I was not a complete completer. I would go to a certain level, like an acceptable level to me, of complete and then leave various pieces undone, hanging, waiting and otherwise incomplete. Well, they were stacked up and waiting. They weren’t forgotten or dismissed by me or by the people I worked for or the companies or individuals that I was supposed to do something for, they were JUST WAITING. Just like little hunks of rock orbiting around my head on a constant basis. Often, we were so busy that I was able to move around seeming unencumbered but they were taking their toll and occupying my mental space.
Sometimes, I would get a little nudge from someone. A call, a reminder, another reminder, a threat or a plea to please complete on the little thing left undone. Once completed we all seemed to be happy. But what continually occurred to me was that I did not have time to get all the things done that needed to be done. It also showed up as, it is not as much fun to finish those things as it is to start a new project and that sometimes that thing that needed to be done required a little more effort by me to either get it done or find someone to do it than I was willing to put in at the moment. They all got somehow magically weighted in my head in order of priority. A priority that until this moment I haven’t really tried to articulate but, this is probably a fair swipe at it.
In business, I needed to keeps jobs flowing and thus keep the cash flowing. So the more jobs that I started the more income possibility there was and the greater the cash flow. Also there is something great about having referenced based customers want me and choose me. It’s great to be needed and desired. I am certain that I would get a lot of jobs, not all but a lot, completed to the 90% place and then move to start the next and then not end up with the time to get to the final 10% wrapped immediately. I, of course, intended to finish and would keep a running list of the jobs and things needing to be finished as a nagging reminder that I hadn’t finished and of course would get phone calls and emails reminding me or requesting me to manage or otherwise handle hung out there items. I would stay in communication with people letting them know the supposed status of when I would be back to complete. But this management takes time, too. I did this like a juggler with multiple items in the air occasionally adding one and then dropping one just to keep it interesting or to keep them watching . Most everyone was great and all were very patient. Especially Megan, who I am sure told me in the past about her dissatisfaction with doing life this way, but just allowed me to keep doing it my way. Very recently I actually heard her express, very out loud, that this is not how she likes to do things. That she would prefer to stay and complete (in all arenas) then move on to the next. I am glad I heard that and clear that I was in a place to hear it only because of the process of completion we embarked on. We are now dancing differently together, and gentler, happier dance, so to speak.
Sometimes I would even get complemented on my ability to handle it all. Another little reward for the way I did things, keeping the pattern in place. But imagine (and have been told) that after a while it becomes quite a nuisance for them as well and they are left with a sense of incomplete, too. (I really get it) Emergencies, as so labeled by me and my customers, would take precedence and push things out of place even more than the need to start more to keep cash flow moving. Emergencies can be very attractive. They did add more and immediate cash flow, I was needed more than ever and they were usually short in duration so pushing something aside to take care of the emergency for a day was acceptable to me and to my other customers. But they keep coming (it’s no real wonder) and so do the desires and requests to be complete with projects so that I could handle the other upcoming projects and emergencies. All things considered, it is clear that what happened was that a system, a default system not an intentional system, developed.
The system was this; it got to a place where it leveled out at the place where it was and just kept running like it was with only a few major sporadic emergencies or urgent situations thrown in to the constantly orbiting rocks but they, the orbiting rocks, became the constant as did my management system. They were always there and when I got a chance I would take care of one of them or a piece of one of them and it seemed to be OK. Sometimes it was more than OK based on the reward part of the system. After a certain time, folks would be very happy that I was coming back. I found that I could look like the hero even after being a jerk if it was managed properly. The real problem is that all of this management was consuming. My time, freedom and life were being spent in the management of those unintentional details. Ultimately it is not very rewarding and it leaves almost no time for doing the things I really want to do.
Thank you, from the bottom of my soul, to all of our truly awesome and constantly supportive friends and family, for your tolerance and assistance and all you have physically done and continue to do in making my life work and be worthwhile. I love you. As Joe Cocker once said, “You are so beautiful to me.” I am also truly grateful for all of the patience shown and offered, by others, in the course of this life of mine as I have tried to figure out the way to be inside of doing it the way I was doing it. This is Life!
I am amazed that we have it all on one sheet. I am glad to be complete with all but two of the outstanding jobs items and three last newly added work items before we leave. My new rewards, as a result of the clearing, are coming in the way of creativity returning to my life and a sense of peace that I had forgotten existed or was attainable. I am writing more and interested in picking up my guitar again and learning how to play the banjo while Jasper plays the harmonica and Megan dances and sings with us. I am in the contextual phase of two new books to pen and a third one has started writing itself in my sleep. I can’t wait to type it out.
I am very grateful for all that I (we) have done in this clearing or process of getting ready for this trip. I am aware that this was my trip and the traveling about to commence is the gift, the prize for taking the journey.
We are on the final, final list before we lift off! We actually were able to take down our many individual sheets of 22” x 34” paper that have been hanging around the house for the past two months that listed every conceivable item we could think of in all of the various and multiple categories. We have, just last night, before we went to see Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, consolidated all of the current remaining items on to one sheet, yes friends, one page of an excel spreadsheet. This may be a welcome sight for those of you who visit us often and thought we had turned into complete organizational freaks. The previous, large scale lists seemed at the outset and proved to be important to our organization and planning giving us a central place we could go to and write down what came into our heads as crucial to complete whenever we thought of or remembered another item. They were also a pain in the ass, ugly to see and constant reminders of what we said we would do or had to do before we could leave. At times (often for me) the lists added to the sense that we may never get complete or get out of here and on this trip. I guess I wasn’t able or willing to see it as part and parcel of the trip!
The list’s, which were not pretty, not part of our decorating scheme for the wonderful old 1850 Greek Revival/Italianate house we live in and certainly not what Megan wanted hanging all over our cabinets, doors, walls, etc., were, however, vital to keeping it all together and essential to moving us to the place we are right now, almost there! They were, and maybe more importantly for our future, as has been this entire process, very revealing. A reminder to live life intentionally and not by default where and when ever we notice that we are.
Let’s face it. When you decide to leave your current lifestyle and activity for a year, there could be quite a few things that you need to get in order before you go, a fallout of sorts. I suppose you could and that some have, JUST WALKED AWAY. This was not the chosen option for us. It would have felt like we were running away. And how could two first born, ultra responsible people ever do something as cavalier as that. The romantic vision that I had of this trip, the one we had created and dream up many years ago was quickly usurped by the pressing need to get it together here before you go there. There are also, at least for us there were, many more things/pieces that reared up as only partially complete on each and every list that we believed needed to be complete- complete before we left. It’s a sickness that Meg and I have succumbed to.
Keep in mind; we follow the philosophy that, completion is only a declaration. Promises made are something completely different and that we can choose to keep our word about them or modify them as soon as we know we can’t keep them. There will always be consequences as a result but, in order to live with others peaceably and enjoy the possibility of having love and keeping friends and family around, straight communication and cleaning up messes seems essential.
We made a choice to not leave people hanging and to get life items in order so that they worked while we were gone so as to not have to micro manage our Connecticut life each and every day from the road. We had to line things up and deal with the details that often, evidently, we were just dealing with on an as required basis during our regular at home life. The life we created, at times, looked like the both of us standing in the batters cage with a pitching machine whipping 90 mph fastballs and the intermittent curveball at us ongoingly and we were just swinging away. Sometimes we would fall backwards, sometimes we would hit homeruns but most of the time we just kept swinging and taking what was coming our way. It is a life and not a bad one but it is certainly a busy, often frenetic, one to manage.
As we started making the BIG lists and in the process of cleaning things up and getting complete it became very obvious to me that I was not a complete completer. I would go to a certain level, like an acceptable level to me, of complete and then leave various pieces undone, hanging, waiting and otherwise incomplete. Well, they were stacked up and waiting. They weren’t forgotten or dismissed by me or by the people I worked for or the companies or individuals that I was supposed to do something for, they were JUST WAITING. Just like little hunks of rock orbiting around my head on a constant basis. Often, we were so busy that I was able to move around seeming unencumbered but they were taking their toll and occupying my mental space.
Sometimes, I would get a little nudge from someone. A call, a reminder, another reminder, a threat or a plea to please complete on the little thing left undone. Once completed we all seemed to be happy. But what continually occurred to me was that I did not have time to get all the things done that needed to be done. It also showed up as, it is not as much fun to finish those things as it is to start a new project and that sometimes that thing that needed to be done required a little more effort by me to either get it done or find someone to do it than I was willing to put in at the moment. They all got somehow magically weighted in my head in order of priority. A priority that until this moment I haven’t really tried to articulate but, this is probably a fair swipe at it.
In business, I needed to keeps jobs flowing and thus keep the cash flowing. So the more jobs that I started the more income possibility there was and the greater the cash flow. Also there is something great about having referenced based customers want me and choose me. It’s great to be needed and desired. I am certain that I would get a lot of jobs, not all but a lot, completed to the 90% place and then move to start the next and then not end up with the time to get to the final 10% wrapped immediately. I, of course, intended to finish and would keep a running list of the jobs and things needing to be finished as a nagging reminder that I hadn’t finished and of course would get phone calls and emails reminding me or requesting me to manage or otherwise handle hung out there items. I would stay in communication with people letting them know the supposed status of when I would be back to complete. But this management takes time, too. I did this like a juggler with multiple items in the air occasionally adding one and then dropping one just to keep it interesting or to keep them watching . Most everyone was great and all were very patient. Especially Megan, who I am sure told me in the past about her dissatisfaction with doing life this way, but just allowed me to keep doing it my way. Very recently I actually heard her express, very out loud, that this is not how she likes to do things. That she would prefer to stay and complete (in all arenas) then move on to the next. I am glad I heard that and clear that I was in a place to hear it only because of the process of completion we embarked on. We are now dancing differently together, and gentler, happier dance, so to speak.
Sometimes I would even get complemented on my ability to handle it all. Another little reward for the way I did things, keeping the pattern in place. But imagine (and have been told) that after a while it becomes quite a nuisance for them as well and they are left with a sense of incomplete, too. (I really get it) Emergencies, as so labeled by me and my customers, would take precedence and push things out of place even more than the need to start more to keep cash flow moving. Emergencies can be very attractive. They did add more and immediate cash flow, I was needed more than ever and they were usually short in duration so pushing something aside to take care of the emergency for a day was acceptable to me and to my other customers. But they keep coming (it’s no real wonder) and so do the desires and requests to be complete with projects so that I could handle the other upcoming projects and emergencies. All things considered, it is clear that what happened was that a system, a default system not an intentional system, developed.
The system was this; it got to a place where it leveled out at the place where it was and just kept running like it was with only a few major sporadic emergencies or urgent situations thrown in to the constantly orbiting rocks but they, the orbiting rocks, became the constant as did my management system. They were always there and when I got a chance I would take care of one of them or a piece of one of them and it seemed to be OK. Sometimes it was more than OK based on the reward part of the system. After a certain time, folks would be very happy that I was coming back. I found that I could look like the hero even after being a jerk if it was managed properly. The real problem is that all of this management was consuming. My time, freedom and life were being spent in the management of those unintentional details. Ultimately it is not very rewarding and it leaves almost no time for doing the things I really want to do.
Thank you, from the bottom of my soul, to all of our truly awesome and constantly supportive friends and family, for your tolerance and assistance and all you have physically done and continue to do in making my life work and be worthwhile. I love you. As Joe Cocker once said, “You are so beautiful to me.” I am also truly grateful for all of the patience shown and offered, by others, in the course of this life of mine as I have tried to figure out the way to be inside of doing it the way I was doing it. This is Life!
I am amazed that we have it all on one sheet. I am glad to be complete with all but two of the outstanding jobs items and three last newly added work items before we leave. My new rewards, as a result of the clearing, are coming in the way of creativity returning to my life and a sense of peace that I had forgotten existed or was attainable. I am writing more and interested in picking up my guitar again and learning how to play the banjo while Jasper plays the harmonica and Megan dances and sings with us. I am in the contextual phase of two new books to pen and a third one has started writing itself in my sleep. I can’t wait to type it out.
I am very grateful for all that I (we) have done in this clearing or process of getting ready for this trip. I am aware that this was my trip and the traveling about to commence is the gift, the prize for taking the journey.
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